spirituality

Going, Going, Almost Gone

Katie and ChrisNext week I’m moving for the first time in five years. My boyfriend and I have loved living in this little studio apartment all these years, but several months ago (even before the bed bug incident) I began having a strong desire for something new. Something with a bedroom.

The last time I re-signed my current lease I had some doubts, the inkling that I might want to live somewhere new.  But I was comfortable living here, and the price was affordable for my boyfriend and I.  Then one day I watched an Oprah’s Next Chapter episode that took place in India and featured a family of five living in a studio apartment much smaller than ours, which I had previously considered tiny.  I took this as a sign that I should stay in the apartment, that it was relatively large, and more than enough for just the two of us.

One of the blessings of staying here for a fifth year, is that now moving feels like a gift.  I am infinitely grateful.  Yet, even as my dream is coming true before my eyes, I am still trying to figure out how it will be realized. I know come September 1st I’ll be sleeping in a different apartment, but I haven’t yet figured out how. There is a huge list of tasks that must be accomplished; I can’t keep track of them all.

Can you feel it? I’m right at that point where I can choose to react, or to allow. It would be easy to let the “how” take over the enjoyment of this highly anticipated change. This is a transition I have dreamt about for months, and I am grateful it is finally coming to pass. So no matter how impossible getting a dishwasher into a car and up a flight of stairs seems, I choose to let myself enjoy the experience.

Is there anything going on for you right now that you can surrender to? For me, moving is an experiment in letting go. The easiest way to tell if you’ve actually surrendered, and aligned yourself with your present experience, is to ask yourself if you feel peaceful or stressed out. If you’re feeling stressed, that is a compass letting you know you should turn around and go in a different direction. It gives you another chance to say, “I am going to allow this situation to be as it is,” and find out how life unfolds.

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