Pre-op 2014

On the second anniversary of my surgery adventure I am (still) grateful to be alive. And not only to be alive, but to be sitting on a comfortable bed looking out a window at crisp blue sky bordered by colorful almost-falling leaves. I’m about to go eat a baked potato and sit outside with friends. Tonight I’ll sing along to every song as I watch Frozen while eating popcorn and chocolate. I almost cannot believe this is what I get to do today. But I can, because of what I’ve learned in this past year since surgery:

No experience is forever. And when the experience is painful, I get to know without a doubt that it will change.

I can do whatever I want. There are no rules. I just have to admit to myself the secret desires of my heart. Those desires are for my good, and are leading me on the adventure I came here for.

I am good. I am made up of pure loving goodness, and no matter what I do or what happens to me, that is permanent amongst impermanent.

Even if my mind disagrees, I am doing my best. If I knew a better way I would be doing it.

Love is easy because love is everywhere. I cannot escape its abundance, but I can be distracted from it through thinking.

I can forgive everything for being as it is, because it already is.

My body is trying to help me stay alive. It loves being my vehicle in this world, and it is always doing its best to serve me. There is nothing about my body of which to be afraid.

I love being myself. I love you being yourself. And I’m so grateful we are being ourselves at the same time.

What you think about yourself, or me, or the world is not who you are. This makes it very easy to love you no matter what.

When the present moment is happening it is never what I thought it would be like. It is usually easier. Thank you for making it easier. I am grateful for your spiritual presence in my life, and your unconditional love. May your love return to you tenfold.