Ego

The Problem With Being Right

Dr. Wayne DyerHave you ever been in a situation where you were absolutely in the right, but were unable to convince someone else who had a differing viewpoint?  When you are right, and someone else is wrong, especially about basic facts (e.g. when water is frozen it becomes ice), it can be frustrating to say the least.

When I’m in the middle of an argument I can feel the infuriation rise the more I try to convince the other person of my side.  The other day when I was attempting to explain how to read a piece of sheet music to my friend, who disagreed with my interpretation, it became clear to me that the more I tried to convince him of my understanding, the more frustrated I became.  In the midst of the argument I asked myself, “why?”  When it isn’t a matter of life or death, is convincing another of your “rightness” really worth it?

The need to be right, even when you are, can erode relationships and prevent us from seeing each other as the complex, mysterious human beings we truly are.  The need to be right is also the perfect doorway for the ego to take over your life.  Identifying with a mental position and fighting for the life of that position is ego.

Next time an argument starts to go off the rails, take back control from the ego by letting go of the need to convince another person of your position.  But be careful that the ego doesn’t sneak back in through judgment of the other person based upon their thoughts.  When I let go of a mental position and feel satisfied because I am the “bigger person” I have let the ego take control in the most opportune moment for its demise.  On the other side of identification with thought is true communication, greater understanding, and better relationships.

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Inspiration

What’s purpose got to do with it?

HeartA few posts ago I embarked on the 30 day before bed challenge to see how the five minutes before sleep can change waking reality.  In this challenge I have been flooding myself with what it will feel like when all of my dreams come true, assuming the feeling as if those dreams had truly come to pass already.

The inspiration for this challenge came from Dr. Wayne Dyer’s Wishes Fulfilled where he says, “In this brief portion of your day, you are going to tell your subconscious mind how you feel and what wishes God (the universal one subconscious mind) is to fulfill upon awakening from your deep slumber.  This five-minute segment of time in your bed, about to enter into your subconscious and marinate for the next eight hours or so, is the most crucial segment of your entire 24-hour day,” (Dyer 136).

Since I didn’t fall asleep the second my head hit the pillow last night, I decided to flood myself with the feeling of great love for the people in my life.  Although the miracle of this challenge isn’t what happens during sleep, but rather what begins to manifest in the waking hours of life, my dream last night was so fantastic that I have share its personal revelations.

In last night’s dream I was in a big lecture hall listening to none other than Oprah herself, and she was talking to various people in the audience.  I found myself standing up, staring right at her, when she pointed at me and asked, “What are you?”  Being unsure of my life’s purpose I uneasily responded, “I am a poet?”  She laughed and in her fabulous Oprah tenor replied, “Girl, you’re a talk show host!”

Needless to say, in the dream I was thrilled.  I finally knew my life’s purpose, it had been right in front of me all along!  Just then, in the midst of my jubilation, a man sprayed a hose full of water right in my face.  I then realized something I had been avoiding by not living out my purpose; when you start to live your dreams there will be more opposition from others.  

The higher you are lifted, the stronger the force will be in the opposite direction.  Yet, there is nothing wrong with that, quite the opposite is the case; that backlash is a helpful sign you are living on purpose.  That metaphorical hose down in my dream did not dampen my spirits, I was so overwhelming overjoyed to finally have my purpose revealed to me.

Purpose can come in the form of something you physically do, or it can come in the form of a way of being.  Purpose can be an intention you live by, such as being pure love, being the light of consciousness, or being joy made manifest.  Whether your purpose is a way of being in the world, or has gone on to be a physical task, the joy that comes from living on purpose is unique and endlessly fulfilling.

On this Valentine’s Day which is so often focused on other people’s purposes in our lives, it is my wish to focus on our unique purposes in our own lives.  May this message from Bishop T.D. Jakes on Oprah’s Lifeclass be a refreshing perspective on purpose and fulfillment:

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Inspiration

5 Minutes That Can Make Your Dreams Come True

photo by Peter SperoWhat runs through your mind five minutes before sleep?  I used to be in the “can’t stop my mind from racing so I can’t sleep” club and am very relieved to have stepped down as a member many years ago.  Even if you don’t have a problem falling asleep at night your thought pattern right before sleep is affecting your waking life more than you may have realized.  Sleep is the time where our subconscious mind reigns.  We go back to the spacious ether from whence we came for regeneration, and emerge with fresh life force energy each morning.

I recently finished reading Dr. Wayne Dyer’s Wishes Fulfilled, which I cannot recommend enough, where he talks about the ways in which we train our subconscious mind with the thoughts we have right before sleep.  The subconscious mind is the deep end of the mind, which contains all that we have learned and programmed ourselves to know automatically, like driving a car, riding a bike, or answering “Well, and you?” when someone asks how we are.  The subconscious mind acts through us without us having to vocalize the instructions with thoughts.  The actions prompted by the subconscious mind creates the majority of our experience. Dr. Dyer calls it our “automatic pilot.”

So what is important about the five small minutes before falling asleep?  According to Dr. Dyer, “In this brief portion of your day, you are going to tell your subconscious mind how you feel and what wishes God (the universal one subconscious mind) is to fulfill upon awakening from your deep slumber.  This five-minute segment of time in your bed, about to enter into your subconscious and marinate for the next eight hours or so, is the most crucial segment of your entire 24-hour day,” (Dyer 136).

I am not taking Dr. Dyer’s word for it.  I’m going to embark on a 30 day before-bed challenge, in which I use the last five minutes of my waking day to imagine my wildest dreams and assume the feelings of those dreams as if they were already my reality.  Will this change what my subconscious mind manifests throughout my days?  Will those positive emotions merely cause pleasant dreams, or will they permeate my waking experience?  

I encourage you to join with me on this 30 day before-bed challenge, and see how five minutes can change your whole reality.  It may be helpful to make a list of the thoughts and emotions you will fill your mind with before bed, and recite them to yourself each night right before sleep.  If nothing else, this nightly ritual will surely help those of you still in the “can’t stop my mind from racing so I can’t sleep” club to resign your membership and embark on your new journey in the “wishes fulfilled” cohort!

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