Life

When The Honeymoon Is Over

Find Your Peace - NCI’ve never been on a honeymoon before.  But if the disillusionment after it’s over feels anything like the 26th of December, then I’m not sure I’d want one.  Even though I get better and better at letting go of Christmas as each year passes, when December gives way to the endlessly bleak Chicago winter I go into spiritual hibernation. During winter the only solace is the steady passage of days, and I still find myself asking, “Will this never end?”  This year I’m actually not sure if it will.

Spiritual hibernation is the setting aside of inner growth and evolving perspective.  When you spiritually hibernate you are in survival mode, and naturally you do what you can to survive.  Rather, you do what you think you need to do to keep going.

A commonly experienced aspect of spiritual hibernation, is that it occurs during a time when spiritual growth is most necessary, helpful, and potentially transformative. If you notice yourself spiritually hibernating, that is a pretty good sign the situation you are experiencing can quickly accelerate your inner transformation, first through acceptance.

Despite my earlier pronouncement of winter despair, summer is on its way.  Each year when it is almost June, even if it still snows occasionally, I not only anticipate the new season but I find myself growing happier.  Happier isn’t entirely accurate; I begin to feel lighter, have more energy, open up to new ways of trusting the universe and moving in it with ease.

During this phase I feel as if my joy has deepened, and am grateful to have passed through another winter to this new point.  Not moving through the after-honeymoon phase leaves the true fulfillment undiscovered.  The universe kindly uses honeymoon phases in many aspects of life to invite us into experiences that contain endless depth and opportunities for our highest potentials to manifest. The “trick” is to let the in-between period of transition change you.

Recently my answer to the question, “What makes a person irresistible?” was featured on irrestistablegirl.com. The question has since stayed in my thoughts and the following SoulPancake video leapt out at me today. In this Science of Love segment the connection between human beings who have experienced the birth and death of a honeymoon phase in their relationships help shed light on what happens next, and how to make it work:

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