When The Honeymoon Is Over

Find Your Peace - NCI’ve never been on a honeymoon before.  But if the disillusionment after it’s over feels anything like the 26th of December, then I’m not sure I’d want one.  Even though I get better and better at letting go of Christmas as each year passes, when December gives way to the endlessly bleak Chicago winter I go into spiritual hibernation. During winter the only solace is the steady passage of days, and I still find myself asking, “Will this never end?”  This year I’m actually not sure if it will.

Spiritual hibernation is the setting aside of inner growth and evolving perspective.  When you spiritually hibernate you are in survival mode, and naturally you do what you can to survive.  Rather, you do what you think you need to do to keep going.

A commonly experienced aspect of spiritual hibernation, is that it occurs during a time when spiritual growth is most necessary, helpful, and potentially transformative. If you notice yourself spiritually hibernating, that is a pretty good sign the situation you are experiencing can quickly accelerate your inner transformation, first through acceptance.

Despite my earlier pronouncement of winter despair, summer is on its way.  Each year when it is almost June, even if it still snows occasionally, I not only anticipate the new season but I find myself growing happier.  Happier isn’t entirely accurate; I begin to feel lighter, have more energy, open up to new ways of trusting the universe and moving in it with ease.

During this phase I feel as if my joy has deepened, and am grateful to have passed through another winter to this new point.  Not moving through the after-honeymoon phase leaves the true fulfillment undiscovered.  The universe kindly uses honeymoon phases in many aspects of life to invite us into experiences that contain endless depth and opportunities for our highest potentials to manifest. The “trick” is to let the in-between period of transition change you.

Recently my answer to the question, “What makes a person irresistible?” was featured on The question has since stayed in my thoughts and the following SoulPancake video leapt out at me today. In this Science of Love segment the connection between human beings who have experienced the birth and death of a honeymoon phase in their relationships help shed light on what happens next, and how to make it work:


“C’mon Get Happy!” – Ted Koehler

My Family Dancing on NYE 2010Thank you SoulPancake for dishing out the happiness with these two awesome pick-me-ups:




“Bus Stop Disco Surprise!” by SoulPancake


“Dancewalk!” by SoulPancake


Keep the fun going by challenging yourself to do a little freestyle dancing of your own today.  No rules, you can dance alone in your bathroom if it suits you.  Will it make you feel more joyful? Will be it super weird?  Only time will tell!

Letting go, and being “silly” is a sure ticket to changing your mood and changing your experience. I break into ridiculous dances pretty often. Eventually you can’t even tell if you’re happy because you’re dancing or you’re dancing because you’re happy.

consciousness, spirituality

Today’s Take Away

I feel this last week’s lesson in “divine compensation” is very relevant today.  When someone takes something away from you, or harms you, the universe repairs itself by restoring to you what you lost in a new form.  The person who took from you will also get to experience the loss they facilitated in some form in their own life.  But to feel the peace of this knowing requires complete trust.  For me learning a lesson helps evoke this trust, which is why I write these posts.  I think we are all learning something about ourselves, and what our personal views of justice are, from the Trayvon Martin case.

Eckhart Tolle sends out “present moment reminder” emails and the one he sent out this week, from A New Earth, says, “Anything that you resent and strongly react to in another is also in you.”  So today I look within, with an open mind, at the assumptions and attitudes I hold.  Where do I perpetuate injustice?  What assumptions and attitudes do I make about people who I don’t truly know?  When do I put the blinders on and stop seeing my human kin as brothers and sisters and instead treat them as “other”?  Without judging what I find, I am able to learn from myself.  From the higher vantage point of the watcher I can view the parts of me that do not operate from my true self, and find they dissolve in the light of awareness.

In the coming weeks I will begin to address the pain body, that energy created by past pain that lives within us and is added to when painful events are not fully accepted and let go of.  I feel that the recent events from Florida may add to this nation’s pain body.  Our collective pain body has surely been awoken, as can be seen on any social media outlet.  But it can be dissolved, by dissolving our own individual pain bodies.

I also find it very healing to remind myself that I am seeing current events from a very limited viewpoint and cannot judge what I see.  I have no idea for what purpose any event happens,  and labels such as “good” and “bad” are merely thoughts in my head.  For now, I think we could all use a bit of good news: