Life

When The Honeymoon Is Over

Find Your Peace - NCI’ve never been on a honeymoon before.  But if the disillusionment after it’s over feels anything like the 26th of December, then I’m not sure I’d want one.  Even though I get better and better at letting go of Christmas as each year passes, when December gives way to the endlessly bleak Chicago winter I go into spiritual hibernation. During winter the only solace is the steady passage of days, and I still find myself asking, “Will this never end?”  This year I’m actually not sure if it will.

Spiritual hibernation is the setting aside of inner growth and evolving perspective.  When you spiritually hibernate you are in survival mode, and naturally you do what you can to survive.  Rather, you do what you think you need to do to keep going.

A commonly experienced aspect of spiritual hibernation, is that it occurs during a time when spiritual growth is most necessary, helpful, and potentially transformative. If you notice yourself spiritually hibernating, that is a pretty good sign the situation you are experiencing can quickly accelerate your inner transformation, first through acceptance.

Despite my earlier pronouncement of winter despair, summer is on its way.  Each year when it is almost June, even if it still snows occasionally, I not only anticipate the new season but I find myself growing happier.  Happier isn’t entirely accurate; I begin to feel lighter, have more energy, open up to new ways of trusting the universe and moving in it with ease.

During this phase I feel as if my joy has deepened, and am grateful to have passed through another winter to this new point.  Not moving through the after-honeymoon phase leaves the true fulfillment undiscovered.  The universe kindly uses honeymoon phases in many aspects of life to invite us into experiences that contain endless depth and opportunities for our highest potentials to manifest. The “trick” is to let the in-between period of transition change you.

Recently my answer to the question, “What makes a person irresistible?” was featured on irrestistablegirl.com. The question has since stayed in my thoughts and the following SoulPancake video leapt out at me today. In this Science of Love segment the connection between human beings who have experienced the birth and death of a honeymoon phase in their relationships help shed light on what happens next, and how to make it work:

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consciousness, spirituality, Uncategorized

Curiouser and Curiouser

Today was mysterious.  As I was walking along with Judy Brubaker I missed a call from an unknown number.  I began thinking that maybe it was Oprah, or Quincy Jones, or anyone!  Then I realized why the “unknown” was so awesome; it had infinite potential!  It could’ve been the president calling!  And if it was, I’m sure he’ll try again later anyways.

In the midst of that call was my walk with Judy.  That was even more mysterious.  I didn’t know Judy before this.  I had merely been walking home, found an elderly woman unable to unlock her door, and asked if she needed help.  She told me she didn’t but would love to go on a walk with me.  I obliged.  I had no way of knowing who this woman was, but she told me about herself.  She was 89 years old, had been living in Chicago for the past 50 years, and used to be a film star in Hollywood during the early 1950s.  I believed her, but she seemed a bit forgetful, and at the back of my mind I was still wondering what her story truly was.  She then told me she still sings on Wednesday nights at Maggiano’s, but hadn’t since her recent surgery.  She sang a few lines for me and I was amazed; she did in fact have a beautiful voice.

She insisted that I leave her where she was and continue my walk home, but I refused.  I told her that I must walk her back home.  So we slowly walked along, but as we got closer she made me leave her side, saying she didn’t want her husband to think she was doing anything crazy. I walked ahead of her but I made sure I saw her walk back up the stairs to the door where we first encountered each other.  She must have gotten inside because I didn’t see her as I walked back up the street in the direction of my apartment.  I felt so compelled to know what she was doing, what her life was like.  We made a real connection and at this point I still have no idea why.

When I got home I decided to Google her.  Judy has in fact lived in Chicago the past 50 years, does still sing occasionally at Maggiano’s, and was a film star during the early 1950s.  I was amazed!  I had just been on a walk with the Judy Brubaker!  I may never know the meaning of our encounter.  I also may never know who the unknown caller was.  But the mystery is so curious, and so enjoyable.  Many things in life are inexplicable.  Many of the things that we do explain away are, in truth, inexplicable as well.  Although the mind prefers to label and have things fit into its set parameters of perception, the world beyond such explanations is more alive, more real, and more curious than one could imagine.  One of the greatest lessons I have received is to embrace the mystery.  Shout out to the universe, “I just don’t know! I have no idea!” It is at that point that the miraculous has an opportunity to appear.  It is at that point that anything can happen.

This is a video I found on YouTube of Judy singing at Maggiano’s:

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