“Putting love first means knowing that the universe supports you in creating the good, the holy, and the beautiful. It means knowing that you’re on earth for a purpose, and that purpose itself will create opportunities for its accomplishment.”
– Marianne Williamson
Tag Archives: Consciousness
Pests or Purses?
Recently I’ve spotted a couple scary looking millipede-esq bugs creeping around the corners of the ceiling in my new apartment. These bugs aren’t new to me, they’re everywhere in Chicago. I even had them in my old apartment, but they are relatively harmless and only show up one at a time. As some of you might know, I have a history with bug infestation, and thankfully this is not one of those situations. After living through a real infestation, the occasional bug isn’t too disturbing to me. At least, that is what I have been telling myself.
The reality of the situation is that since I have seen a few of these bugs I now am looking for them. I scan the walls to check if there are any creepy crawlers. The law of attraction is a powerful tool, whether used consciously or not. So how do I let go of this new, yet ever so familiar, neurosis? Surrender can transform any situation, but the way I scan the room makes it clear that I haven’t surrendered. Which is why I’ve decided to replace what I’m looking for.
Recently I’ve been attracted to metallic purses. I made the decision, that every time my eyes drift towards the ceiling I’m going to replace the image of my many-legged nemesis with the image of a beautiful silver purse. Yes, this sounds silly, but it is transforming an unpleasant situation containing the burden of past experience, to a pleasant experiment in manifestation. Will my silver purse actually find its way into my life? Whether it shows up physically or not, the living room of my mind is free of infestation and filled with beauty.
What negative situations are you unconsciously looking for? Whether it is a worry situation, a negative self-image, or the oh so common “waiting for the other shoe to drop in times of joy” syndrome, see what you can replace with a positive image or thought. Nothing will be lost by replacing these negative thoughts, which pretend to be all-important, besides the negative outcomes they create. What can be gained? The only way to find out is to give it a try.
Are you giving away what you don’t have?
Yesterday I cited the old adage, “The more you give, the more you get.” While this is true, it requires a disclaimer: you can only give what you have. In concrete terms, this means that if you are giving away heaps of money on a credit card, money that you don’t actually possess, then you will not end up receiving. Instead, that which you borrowed will end up being taken from you one way or another. Part of the accumulation of financial debt is simply giving what you do not have.
This principle also operates in relationships. If you are always trying to help others, give them advice and a shoulder to cry on, but never ask for assistance yourself, you are giving away what you don’t have. I love the way Brené Brown put it when talking to Oprah about giving and receiving help: if you give help freely, but consider yourself a person that doesn’t ask for help, then every time you are giving help to someone you are judging them. You are saying, “It is okay for you to ask for help, but not me. I’m not the kind of person that does that.” To give genuinely, you must first possess.
This also comes up in love relationships. I’ve heard many times that you must first love yourself before you love others. But what does that actually mean? To figure that out I look at the way I treat myself. When I forgive myself for making mistakes, have compassion for my shortcomings, comfort myself in times of grief, and let myself laugh and be joyful every single day, I can see that I am truly loving myself. It is a lot easier to refrain from criticizing your partner for gaining a couple pounds, than it is yourself. That is where the practice of loving yourself comes in. The more compassion you can exercise on yourself, the more genuinely your compassion will be experienced by others.
Yesterday at the grocery store my thoughts attempted to gain my attention by worrying about the price of my groceries. Worry is a common pattern for the mind. But going into the grocery store I knew I had enough money in my bank account to buy groceries. I knew that I wasn’t borrowing money from the credit card company that I didn’t already have at my disposal. Of course, that doesn’t matter to the mind, which attempts to use any situation to place itself firmly at the center of your attention, often through negative reactions. So I allowed myself to enjoy the exchange of giving and receiving.
The first step in giving is to check your bank account. How much love do you have in your bank account? How much gratitude? How much forgiveness? Your funds will only be depleted if you are giving what you don’t have. Start with yourself. Practice gratitude and self-forgiveness. If it is physical money that is an issue for you in the exchange of energy, create some savings; pay yourself before you pay everyone else. Whether physical or spiritual, you can only give what you already have. And once you have, and start becoming part of the exchange, there is no end to the growth of giving and receiving you can experience.
Lighten Up!
As I stood in the line at the grocery store today I felt the tug of worry on my attention saying, “I wonder how much this is all going to cost. What if it is more than I expected? Will I be able to afford it?” I smiled at the thoughts; they jockey so diligently for their position in my attention.
Smiling at yourself helps take away the seriousness of the constant stream of mind, which often turns to negative scenarios when left to its own devices. I decided to choose a different reaction, rather than falling back on the comfortable pattern of worry. I chose to be grateful that I was taking place in the exchange.
The more you give the more you receive; every action has an equal and opposite reaction. So as I paid for my groceries I smiled. Not only did the smile lead to a nice exchange with the man checking out the groceries, but it made me feel lighthearted and grateful to take part in the cycle of giving and receiving. Lightening up leads to more joy, more reasons to smile. I hope this video gives you as much joy and lightheartedness as it gave me!
What are you looking for?
While this video originally served as a PSA for being aware of cyclists, and is absolutely hilarious, I found it to contain a great spiritual truth. That is, if you aren’t looking for something, you are not going to see it. When creating the reality you desire the first step is deciding what you are looking for. Is it a compliment? A deep conversation? A Buggati? Whatever it is you currently desire, look for it everywhere. Don’t decide where the best place to look for it is. Look up at the sky, look at the train passing by, look over your shoulder at the grocery store. You don’t have to come up with the “how,” all you have to do is decide what you are searching for and go out there expecting to see it everywhere!
Thanks Marc and Angel Hack Life for sharing this video!
How To Reap The Benefits Of Meditation Without Meditating
One of my favorite pieces of advice from Eckhart Tolle is to take a few conscious breaths throughout the day. Don’t have a regular meditation practice? No problem! While meditation can be infinitely beneficial, purposely pausing to take a deep breath, whenever you remember to, can create space, clarity, and peace in your daily life. Before you open the fridge, make a phone call, or turn on the car, take one or two deep breaths. Over the course of time you might find your days going smoother, your moments of peace lasting longer, and your intuitive faculties growing stronger. The only way to experience the benefits of taking a few conscious breaths throughout each day, is to test it out!
This video created by my father, Peter Spero, provides a blissful moment of clarity and peace akin to a deep breath. I hope it brings you as much joy and relaxation as it has brought me!
“Who is it that’s aware that I’m thinking?” – Jim Carrey
I love this video of Jim Carrey because it reminds me that I have no idea what is truly going on inside other people. We are each on an epic journey of personhood, each the star of our own play. It is a beautiful thing to be invited to hear about the journey of another. It is also wonderful to recognize that you don’t know the journey of another. For me the “not knowing” helps to quell judgment, and allow people to present themselves in a way I couldn’t have imagined. Thank you Jim Carrey, and Eckhart Tolle for sharing this inspiring video!
“In the moment of seeing, of noticing that your relationship with the Now is dysfunctional, you are present.” – Tolle
The first day of teaching for a new year of the after school program always leaves me thinking, “what just happened?” Now sitting on a comfortable couch at home, I see the pull to hang on to the day. To stay in the stress, to worry about what it will be like tomorrow. But when I think about how I felt about the new year of programming this morning, before it at all began, I know I wasn’t worried at all. I didn’t feel stressed about the prospect of the next class.
Even though the day has a magnetic pull, I can see that feeling like I did this morning would be a much more enjoyable way of being. I can also see that feeling present and without worry didn’t effect the reality of the experience as it actually occurred.
Worry or not, the outcome is always the same. The moment always comes to pass. This is the moment where I have the opportunity to choose again. Instead of succumbing to the attraction of holding on, I can choose to put down the thoughts of past and future, and return to the only place I will ever be, the present.
How do you feel when the day is done? If you ever find yourself reliving the day over again in your head, create an experiment out of putting the day down, and allowing yourself to just be where you are. After all, the only way to see if it feels better than a previous way of being, is to experience it.
“There are no dark nights of the soul; there are only dark nights of the ego.” – Robert Holden
I saw this posted on Dr. Wayne Dyer’s Facebook page, and loved the clever way the words pointed towards the truth! When I experience pain, there is that still small voice at the back of my consciousness reminding me that suffering is created by the ego. My true self is still whole; nothing can be given or taken away from being. When in pain reminding myself that my attachment to the situation is causing the suffering, and that the situation already is how it is regardless of my reaction, a small space opens up around the pain that allows healing to work its way through. To paraphrase Tolle, suffering is ego created but is ultimately ego destructive. To say it another way, no matter what you are going through a world of greater peace and joy is perpetually blooming in the midst of the ashes.
How can you tell if you’ve actually “let it go?”
How do you respond when someone tells you to, “let it go?” I have been told, in many different contexts, to let something go, and often my response has been, “I will, but…” Which is to say, that I haven’t actually been letting go. I’ve been learning that a true act of letting go contains far greater power than any reason not to ever could.
By letting go, you align yourself with the power of the universe. You surrender to that unending stream of energy always flowing towards your highest potential. So why don’t we let go more often? Simply put, the thinking mind. The mind needs thorough convincing to let go of anything. To let go of a thought, an attachment, a grudge, or a question, the mind requires a foolproof argument to relinquish its firm grasp. The thinking mind loses control over your life when you surrender and let go. It doesn’t know a higher power will take the reigns; all the thinking mind sees is a life out of control, without any safety net. Since the thinking mind is so bent on holding on, it is necessary to go beyond it to experience true surrender. This means instead of convincing your mind to let go, you only need to convince your true self a more wondrous world is waiting for you on the other side of surrender.
How do you know if you’ve really let go? When someone close to you has upset you and you decide to be the more conscious being and let it go, and think to yourself “Yes! I’ve let it go!” that is not surrender. That is the thinking mind holding onto the concept of being more spiritually aware than others, and the idea of letting go. You will know you’ve truly relinquished something when you feel a deep sense of peace, aliveness, and even joy that has nothing to do with your outer circumstance.
When you are having a disagreement with your partner, and no clear resolution has been found, but you feel completely at ease, you have surrendered. This opens you up to being a vessel for solutions. The universe has space to work through you to solve any problem you are experiencing, any dysfunction in the relationship. Another sign that you have surrendered is that your compassion grows. You can listen to your partner more deeply, without the voice in your head whispering internal judgments. You can even understand a point of view you initially disagreed with. Surrender offers unlimited potential for growth, expansion, peace, and love.
For me, writing this is a personal message to assist myself in surrender. Although I am writing thoughts, they help to point me beyond my thinking mind to my true knowing. There are many things in my life I can surrender to, like my work situation, my ideas about how my outer life should look, my opinions, and my ideas about how my loved ones should act. And the only way to discover the miraculous consequences of surrender is to try it out. What in your life can you let go of today?
Let Yourself Learn 