Tag Archives: life

consciousness

How do you know if you’re being yourself?

Me as a child with my older brother.

Me as a child with my older brother.

When I was a little kid I longed to know who I really was.  I remember wishing someone could just tell me.  I envied my friends from foreign countries who had a strong national identity.  I thought they really knew who they were.  I tried finding my identity in things, like being a writer, an actress, a musician.  But nothing ever stuck.

Now I am grateful for that.  I didn’t yet realize that the self attached to thoughts and things was the ego, the parasitic mind that can only survive through attachment to forms.  It wasn’t until the summer I turned 23 that I suddenly realized what a gift it was to experience the self without definitions and attachments.  It was then, when I realized what I was not, that I became open to finding out who my true self was, how it expressed itself, and how the true self was more expansive and inclusive than I could have ever thought up with my mind.

At first, not buying into your own thought created identity can feel like a black hole with no end in sight.  There is another side.  You will know it through inexplicable feelings of joy, love, and the state of peace.  For me, it still becomes obscured by the ego at various points throughout the day.  The good news is, that once you’ve experienced your true self it continues to grow in presence and power, no matter how the ego may try to reassert itself.  So who are you?  Try asking yourself without answering with words, and let your self show you.

I love this short video with Eckhart Tolle because it can give you an experience of your true nature as pure consciousness, as the watcher:

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Inspiration

“Don’t let a mad world tell you that success is anything other than a successful present moment.” – Eckhart Tolle

Rainbow RoomI recently talked about experiencing negative emotions and how to sit with them until they dissipate.  Sometimes a situation triggers a host of negative reactions that are disproportionate to the event itself.  For me, this tends to be how my pain body awakens. The pain body is the energy of past experiences of pain that haven’t been fully processed and continue to live on in the body.  When the pain body wakes up it brings with it the opportunity to dissolve the pain you’ve been unconsciously carrying around.  It also means you have to feel it, sit with it, and not allow yourself to get distracted.

This happened to me just the other day, and as I was comfortably lying there I found myself wanting to scroll around on my phone, or see what was on TV.  If I had allowed myself to get up and go about my day the pain body would have subsided, and I would have gone on having a fine time.  But the energy I was experiencing wouldn’t have been dissolved.  It would have come up again when the opportunity was right.  So I gave myself permission to feel both the uncomfortable negative energy, and the inertia pulling me to get up and do something else.  This is an endlessly worthwhile practice.  I plan on living for many years, and the benefits of practicing how to deal with negative emotions will be of great assistance on a journey that largely includes letting go.

It is also helpful to learn how to be with negative emotions, and a feeling of restlessness, because it can show you how to accept these energy forces in your friends and partners.  I intend for this practice to help me allow my loved ones to experience whatever it is they are going through.  It can be just as difficult, if not more, to bring acceptance to the suffering of a loved one.  First trying out surrender for yourself can tremendously aid you when you see someone you love going through the same thing.  If your loved one is suffering, and there isn’t any physical solution you can bring to them, you can surrender to their pain and be a peaceful presence in their time of need.

As a child growing up my mother would always sit at my bedside when I would cry into my pillow for whatever reason.  Even if it wasn’t visible at the time, just having her there helped me heal faster and more profoundly than I would have on my own.

Even further, you can bring surrender to the suffering of those you don’t know but witness day-to-day.  When I see homeless human beings on the street I don’t pity them.  I see them for the true radiant being that we both are, let go of any judgment of their situation, and smile with a genuine sense of connectedness.  If I have a dollar bill I offer it, but even then it is not the money that is healing.  The healing takes place in the moment that we are present with each other, without the judgment of the thinking mind, in the kind of communion that sees through the veil of form into our shared reality.  Every attempt to “just be” is different, whether it is with myself, a loved one, or someone I just met.  No matter how it goes, to let go of judgment and allow the experience to be as it is, is what I call success.

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Inspiration

Pests or Purses?

PursesRecently I’ve spotted a couple scary looking millipede-esq bugs creeping around the corners of the ceiling in my new apartment.  These bugs aren’t new to me, they’re everywhere in Chicago.  I even had them in my old apartment, but they are relatively harmless and only show up one at a time.  As some of you might know, I have a history with bug infestation, and thankfully this is not one of those situations.  After living through a real infestation, the occasional bug isn’t too disturbing to me.  At least, that is what I have been telling myself.

The reality of the situation is that since I have seen a few of these bugs I now am looking for them.  I scan the walls to check if there are any creepy crawlers.  The law of attraction is a powerful tool, whether used consciously or not.  So how do I let go of this new, yet ever so familiar, neurosis?  Surrender can transform any situation, but the way I scan the room makes it clear that I haven’t surrendered.  Which is why I’ve decided to replace what I’m looking for.

Recently I’ve been attracted to metallic purses.  I made the decision, that every time my eyes drift towards the ceiling I’m going to replace the image of my many-legged nemesis with the image of a beautiful silver purse.  Yes, this sounds silly, but it is transforming an unpleasant situation containing the burden of past experience, to a pleasant experiment in manifestation.  Will my silver purse actually find its way into my life?  Whether it shows up physically or not, the living room of my mind is free of infestation and filled with beauty.

What negative situations are you unconsciously looking for?  Whether it is a worry situation, a negative self-image, or the oh so common “waiting for the other shoe to drop in times of joy” syndrome, see what you can replace with a positive image or thought.  Nothing will be lost by replacing these negative thoughts, which pretend to be all-important, besides the negative outcomes they create.  What can be gained?  The only way to find out is to give it a try.

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spirituality

Are you giving away what you don’t have?

GiftsYesterday I cited the old adage, “The more you give, the more you get.”  While this is true, it requires a disclaimer: you can only give what you have.  In concrete terms, this means that if you are giving away heaps of money on a credit card, money that you don’t actually possess, then you will not end up receiving.  Instead, that which you borrowed will end up being taken from you one way or another.  Part of the accumulation of financial debt is simply giving what you do not have.

This principle also operates in relationships.  If you are always trying to help others, give them advice and a shoulder to cry on, but never ask for assistance yourself, you are giving away what you don’t have.  I love the way Brené Brown put it when talking to Oprah about giving and receiving help: if you give help freely, but consider yourself a person that doesn’t ask for help, then every time you are giving help to someone you are judging them.  You are saying, “It is okay for you to ask for help, but not me.  I’m not the kind of person that does that.”  To give genuinely, you must first possess.

This also comes up in love relationships.  I’ve heard many times that you must first love yourself before you love others.  But what does that actually mean?  To figure that out I look at the way I treat myself.  When I forgive myself for making mistakes, have compassion for my shortcomings, comfort myself in times of grief, and let myself laugh and be joyful every single day, I can see that I am truly loving myself.  It is a lot easier to refrain from criticizing your partner for gaining a couple pounds, than it is yourself.  That is where the practice of loving yourself comes in.  The more compassion you can exercise on yourself, the more genuinely your compassion will be experienced by others.

Yesterday at the grocery store my thoughts attempted to gain my attention by worrying about the price of my groceries.  Worry is a common pattern for the mind.  But going into the grocery store I knew I had enough money in my bank account to buy groceries.  I knew that I wasn’t borrowing money from the credit card company that I didn’t already have at my disposal.  Of course, that doesn’t matter to the mind, which attempts to use any situation to place itself firmly at the center of your attention, often through negative reactions. So I allowed myself to enjoy the exchange of giving and receiving.

The first step in giving is to check your bank account.  How much love do you have in your bank account?  How much gratitude?  How much forgiveness?  Your funds will only be depleted if you are giving what you don’t have.  Start with yourself.  Practice gratitude and self-forgiveness.  If it is physical money that is an issue for you in the exchange of energy, create some savings; pay yourself before you pay everyone else.  Whether physical or spiritual, you can only give what you already have.  And once you have, and start becoming part of the exchange, there is no end to the growth of giving and receiving you can experience.

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Inspiration

Lighten Up!

As I stood in the line at the grocery store today I felt the tug of worry on my attention saying, “I wonder how much this is all going to cost.  What if it is more than I expected?  Will I be able to afford it?”  I smiled at the thoughts; they jockey so diligently for their position in my attention.

Smiling at yourself helps take away the seriousness of the constant stream of mind, which often turns to negative scenarios when left to its own devices.  I decided to choose a different reaction, rather than falling back on the comfortable pattern of worry.  I chose to be grateful that I was taking place in the exchange.

The more you give the more you receive; every action has an equal and opposite reaction.  So as I paid for my groceries I smiled.  Not only did the smile lead to a nice exchange with the man checking out the groceries, but it made me feel lighthearted and grateful to take part in the cycle of giving and receiving.  Lightening up leads to more joy, more reasons to smile.  I hope this video gives you as much joy and lightheartedness as it gave me!

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Inspiration

What are you looking for?

While this video originally served as a PSA for being aware of cyclists, and is absolutely hilarious, I found it to contain a great spiritual truth.  That is, if you aren’t looking for something, you are not going to see it.  When creating the reality you desire the first step is deciding what you are looking for.  Is it a compliment?  A deep conversation?  A Buggati?  Whatever it is you currently desire, look for it everywhere.  Don’t decide where the best place to look for it is.  Look up at the sky, look at the train passing by, look over your shoulder at the grocery store.  You don’t have to come up with the “how,” all you have to do is decide what you are searching for and go out there expecting to see it everywhere!

Thanks Marc and Angel Hack Life for sharing this video!

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consciousness

Don’t Let It Go To Your Head

WinterNegative emotions are low frequency energy currents that pass through the body, and often surface from within the body if they weren’t fully felt and “digested” when they were created.  I sometimes feel negative emotions unconnected to thoughts, which surface randomly.  They are uncomfortable.  But they can also be dispelled.  The trick is, don’t let negative emotions go to your head.

It is easy to not want to feel negative energy currents and try to numb them, or come up with various schemes about how to rid yourself of those emotions.  When this happens, thoughts end up feeding the negative energy currents with more energy of a like frequency, creating a cycle of negativity within the body.  Not only do thoughts create more negative emotions, but they also prevent them from being dispelled.

When I feel negative energy rising up within me I find the most helpful way through it is allowing myself to feel the emotions fully.  I let myself sit with them.  It is not comfortable, but it is also not difficult when I tell myself that it is okay to feel negative emotions.  There is nothing inherently wrong with feeling “bad.”  I give myself permission to feel what I’m feeling, without trying to explain it away or come up with a solution.

Negative emotions are just another frequency of energy we can experience.  So I let myself have the experience.  By accepting what I’m feeling in the moment, space is created around the emotions.  I don’t give more energy to the negativity by wrapping myself up in it, and letting it feed my thoughts.  Instead of becoming the negative emotions, I experience them.  (This didn’t happen overnight, it is an ongoing practice!)

As an energy current, negative emotions naturally try to feed and grow, but this can be prevented by retaining the awareness that they don’t actually help.  I know that feeling bad isn’t going to make me feel better, or improve my circumstances.  Only high frequency energy can take me where I want to go.  So even as I’m feeling the emotions fully, I am aware that I needn’t let it go to my head, because after they pass through I will once more be on my way to feeling peaceful.  One of the most life changing observations I learned from Tolle is that behind all negative emotions is the belief that they will somehow get you what you want.  But they can only feed on the same low frequency of energy that they are, and cannot improve your circumstances.  What happens when you have a surge of negative emotions?  Does it trigger your thinking mind?  Next time you experience a “bad” feeling, see what happens when you allow it to be there.  It may pass through quicker than you think.

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Inspiration

How To Reap The Benefits Of Meditation Without Meditating

FlowersOne of my favorite pieces of advice from Eckhart Tolle is to take a few conscious breaths throughout the day. Don’t have a regular meditation practice?  No problem! While meditation can be infinitely beneficial, purposely pausing to take a deep breath, whenever you remember to, can create space, clarity, and peace in your daily life.  Before you open the fridge, make a phone call, or turn on the car, take one or two deep breaths.  Over the course of time you might find your days going smoother, your moments of peace lasting longer, and your intuitive faculties growing stronger.  The only way to experience the benefits of taking a few conscious breaths throughout each day, is to test it out!  

This video created by my father, Peter Spero, provides a blissful moment of clarity and peace akin to a deep breath.  I hope it brings you as much joy and relaxation as it has brought me!

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Inspiration

“Who is it that’s aware that I’m thinking?” – Jim Carrey

I love this video of Jim Carrey because it reminds me that I have no idea what is truly going on inside other people.  We are each on an epic journey of personhood, each the star of our own play.  It is a beautiful thing to be invited to hear about the journey of another.  It is also wonderful to recognize that you don’t know the journey of another.  For me the “not knowing” helps to quell judgment, and allow people to present themselves in a way I couldn’t have imagined.  Thank you Jim Carrey, and Eckhart Tolle for sharing this inspiring video!

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