Everywhere you look people are making choices. People are taking action, taking sides, digging into their perspectives. When I see the one-sidedness and separation that are widely accepted as valid opinions I want to disagree, I want to explain myself, I want to change minds. Then I remember that it is, in fact, that very desire which creates separation and entrenches ideologies.
Everywhere you look people are making choices. But they don’t need your judgment. They need your love.
When you narrow your focus each step becomes clear. Take a look around at the here and now apart from your story about it, and find that it writes itself. All you have to do is read.
Today I had the great pleasure of visiting the DMV for the first time since I had my license renewed five years ago. Everything really had been going smoothly until I was called up to take my new license picture.
I looked at the blue dot and smiled. A few seconds after sitting down in the waiting area the man who had taken my picture called out to me saying, “One of your eyes was closed in the picture.” I stood up to retake the picture when he said, “You can’t retake it, it says right here all you need is one eye to be open for a valid picture. Just don’t do that while you’re driving.”
I sat back down in utter defeat. My brow furrowed, all I could think about were the looks on the faces of all the people who I would have to hand my license to. I looked as if I was about to cry.
A couple of minutes passed and my license finished printing. I walked up to the counter, and the man handed me my license with a big grin on his face. The joke was on me. He was kidding. The picture was just fine, and I laughed out loud.
Life had caught me taking it too seriously. Getting upset about a bad license picture, really? Getting upset about the prospect of a bad picture on your license is like getting upset about the prospect of having to listen to smooth jazz during call waiting. It will probably happen, and it can do nothing to hurt you. And sometimes, as in my case, you get a mixed message about a situation, when everything is fine all along. Either way, make sure to laugh about it.
I do not perceive my own best interest. This notion use to torment me. When I first began to see that every small action on my part had a ripple effect, beyond anything I could conceive of, I became worried and unsure of myself.
On a small scale this looks like not being sure which plans to commit to this weekend because it isn’t yet clear what will end up being the most enjoyable option. On a larger scale this looks like questioning the motives behind a chosen career path, or not being sure if you should commit to a relationship.
What I hadn’t perceived after experiencing an awareness of the infinite effects of my small choices was what those consequences meant for my true best interest. After a little bit of living it becomes clear that things that are bad at one time can turn out to have positive outcomes, just as something that was first good news can turn into suffering later on. But at a higher vantage point whatever journey the ripple of each action takes there is with it the movement of your highest potential unearthing itself through the inner erosion that takes place one situation after another.
According to A Course In Miracles understanding that you don’t perceive your best interest is an essential step in allowing miracles to occur. Without this internal judgment of external situations your every moment can transform into the shape it was meant to realize, and with it enact your own best interest.
On my walk home from work I was stopped by the loud conversation of a beautiful red bird with a fellow in a nearby tree.
The next two days mark the end of my four-year journey as a Teaching Artist at a Chicago Public School, and I’ve been finding myself asked daily, “What do you want to do?”
As I stood staring at the radiant body of the red bird I thought, “What is the Cardinal meant to do?” and laughed in spite of myself.
Do you trust in your own decision-making abilities? How do you know if you’ve made the choice that will lead to the highest potential outcome? How can you maintain trust when people and situations reveal themselves to be different than you initially believed?
This coming week my grant-based job of four years is coming to an end and life is thrusting me into change and uncertainty. In work, as well as in relationships, my mind’s favorite candy is questioning my ability to make decisions that are in my best interest. The voice in my head could live an entire life surviving purely on self-doubt.
When I have difficulty trusting in people or situations I remind myself that I don’t have to trust in any thing, I only have trust in the universe, God, life itself. Yet, sometimes the voice in my head has enough momentum that even this perspective fails to interrupt its destructive thought pattern. This is why I am so grateful for the insight in the following video. It reminds me of what it feels like when my decisions are being guided by the clear perspective of present moment awareness, rather than the clever arguments of the mind. Being able to discern between the two is the difference between peace and suffering.
I’ve never been on a honeymoon before. But if the disillusionment after it’s over feels anything like the 26th of December, then I’m not sure I’d want one. Even though I get better and better at letting go of Christmas as each year passes, when December gives way to the endlessly bleak Chicago winter I go into spiritual hibernation. During winter the only solace is the steady passage of days, and I still find myself asking, “Will this never end?” This year I’m actually not sure if it will.
Spiritual hibernation is the setting aside of inner growth and evolving perspective. When you spiritually hibernate you are in survival mode, and naturally you do what you can to survive. Rather, you do what you think you need to do to keep going.
A commonly experienced aspect of spiritual hibernation, is that it occurs during a time when spiritual growth is most necessary, helpful, and potentially transformative. If you notice yourself spiritually hibernating, that is a pretty good sign the situation you are experiencing can quickly accelerate your inner transformation, first through acceptance.
Despite my earlier pronouncement of winter despair, summer is on its way. Each year when it is almost June, even if it still snows occasionally, I not only anticipate the new season but I find myself growing happier. Happier isn’t entirely accurate; I begin to feel lighter, have more energy, open up to new ways of trusting the universe and moving in it with ease.
During this phase I feel as if my joy has deepened, and am grateful to have passed through another winter to this new point. Not moving through the after-honeymoon phase leaves the true fulfillment undiscovered. The universe kindly uses honeymoon phases in many aspects of life to invite us into experiences that contain endless depth and opportunities for our highest potentials to manifest. The “trick” is to let the in-between period of transition change you.
Recently my answer to the question, “What makes a person irresistible?” was featured on irrestistablegirl.com. The question has since stayed in my thoughts and the following SoulPancake video leapt out at me today. In this Science of Love segment the connection between human beings who have experienced the birth and death of a honeymoon phase in their relationships help shed light on what happens next, and how to make it work:
All role-playing is transcended when we are present, responding to the needs of the moment we experience instead of acting out our mind’s idea of what our role entails. The same can be said for mothers. Being a mother can turn into a role when it is a mental concept. But one of the amazing things I’ve observed from mothers is the complete transcendence of roles.
I’ve observed my mother and grandmother, my aunts and friends who are mothers, being constantly present, responding purely to what is required in each moment. They go beyond the role of mother, and reveal where that role originated. They are creators, sustainers, love bearers, teachers, healers, unifiers, transformers. They are alchemists transforming love into life. Mothers bear the burdens of nations and create vital changes in the world that are necessary but often not invited. They act from love even when repaid in hatred or apathy. Thank you mothers for transcending roles, and birthing a better world generation after generation.
My own mother not only gave me the gift of life, but also taught me how to live. She provided a space to grow as a human being, free from judgment, in the all-encompassing embrace of unconditional love. It is with the love I have learned, and continue to learn, from my mother that I offer this gift of relaxation. Take a moment and be refreshed with Let Yourself Learn’s deep relaxation, based on Shavasana from Integral Hatha Yoga and the wisdom teachings of Swami Satchidananda.
Click here for a free download of the audio version of Shavasana with Katie Spero.
I first noticed it late one December evening. The little girl I was babysitting for had fallen asleep during her bedtime story and I sat next to her, legs outstretched on the bed, trying to devise a way to exit without making any noise. Staring at my feet I realized that, although I could feel my legs, I wasn’t feeling my toes. I moved them back and forth against one another, and the movement was there but I lacked the sensation that had been so obvious up until this point; I normally had extremely ticklish feet.
After going home and running my feet under hot water, doing various stretches, and attempting to tickle my toes with my fingernails, I conceded that at some point I’d have to get this checked out. Although my doctor tried different means of treating my unfeeling toes, as the weeks passed the only change was more uncomfortable tingling in my feet.
I am still engaged in outward means of bringing my feet back to normal, but after a few months the true message my feet were trying to send to me became too clear to ignore. I am addicted to numbing. And after so much work trying to numb myself, my body took the hint and complied, “if numbness is what you want, numbness is what you will get.”
The desire to numb yourself of emotions and pain manifests itself differently in those trying to escape that which they fear. Some numb themselves through shopping, others use food, entertainment, alcohol, drama, etc. The means with which we numb ourselves is a personal preference. What we try to numb ourselves from can be categorized as pain. What is painful to each of us, and what we fear, is also custom made according to the individual. But it all results in the attempt to use external things to numb inner discomfort.
So how can we possibly let go of that which numbs us, when we would do anything to not experience the pain that we are trying to avoid? For me the answer came in the form of numb feet. Having these cold tingly feet have made me realize how glorious my highly sensitive, ticklish feet were, as well as how powerfully thoughts and intentions manifest into form whether we want them to or not. The numbness, although an attempt to escape pain, has turned out to be painful. My body is letting me know that its harmonious functioning is dependent upon my ability to accept and feel that which I experience.
While some pain seems so overpowering that it may destroy you, in reality your consciousness is vast enough to encompass any experience it encounters. Not only can your witnessing self withstand the discomfort, but allowing yourself to fully feel it as it arises keeps you healthy. When pain is fully felt, it moves through you. When it is numbed, it lies dormant within, containing the power to disrupt every aspect of your life.
Now when I feel discomfort, fear, or pain I say to myself, “I allow myself to feel this right now.” Although in just the past week my tingly feet have had improved warmth and sensation, one of the medical tests the doctor still has to perform will involve needles and will undoubtedly be painful. This I am afraid of. So I allow both my fear of the situation, and the pain of the experience as well. Because the ability to feel is not only a sign of life, but is itself life sustaining.
Experiencing extremely high highs in life, along with very low lows, is exhausting. There are some who enjoy that way of living, and there are also many wisdom teachings detailing how to escape such a precarious existence. But just as in meditation, where you constantly are bringing your attention back from a wild train of thought to the present moment, experiencing going from very unconscious states to extremely aware states of being within the span of a day, an hour, or a minute is essential in the practice of living.
Some days I experience extreme fear, worry, and distress. It can happen, when overcome with negative emotions or powerful thought patters, that I will bring a little bit of present moment awareness into my field of attention and take a step away from the crazy. This type of experience is helpful in building up what Tolle calls “presence power,” that when accessed more and more easily, will eventually kick in before the thought patterns and emotions have a chance to take over. But it is okay to go even further than a small glimpse of awareness.
I am now experiencing that when I fall into unconscious suffering, and bring that spark of present moment awareness into the situation, that I don’t need to stop there. I can remind myself of the true depths of joy and peace available in the present moment, remember all that I have learned in the power of the reality of the here and now. Not only can I shed light on the dysfunction that had caused fear to become all important in my field of attention, I can dissipate that fear with radical acceptance, and allow myself to feel peace, allow a smile, allow joy in the midst of anxious thought patterns.
This “allowing” is not passive. It takes the same power required when the energy of residual pain makes peace and happiness seem like the last thing in the world you’d want to feel, but you “allow” yourself to disidentify from that loud voice of pain and smile anyway.
Extreme happiness and extreme sadness lead to a weary existence. But moments of extreme unconsciousness that transform into moments of all encompassing present moment awareness can lead to the empowerment of your ability to dissipate the pain created by identification with the thoughts and emotions. Judging a moment of pain, fear, or sorrow will lead to more of the like, but accepting it and entering fully into the present moment strengthens the light of your consciousness that can dissolve the deepest darkness.
Let Yourself Learn 